A Note From A Fellow Imposter

I am not a medical professional, but I have diagnosed you nonetheless.

My data is sound, robust, and personalized to your bespoke circumstances:

You are exhausted, anxious, irritable, avoidant, even shameful. Everyone around you has it so much more together, and they deserve their successes. You, on the other hand? You are on the brink of being found out, discovered, caught with your pants around your ankles.

Yes. You, my friend, are suffering from Imposter Syndrome. 

And you are not alone! Because, over the last six months I have coached and interviewed dozens–maybe hundreds–of people, all of whom are successful at various stages of their professional lives. In this space, Imposter Syndrome comes up often, typically as something shameful, an experience to which powerful execs don’t want to admit.

To be fair, I have worked with executives in my corporate life who do not suffer from this affliction, at least not outwardly. In my experience, these can be people who don’t require Imposter Syndrome in order to thrive because their lifeforce is built on those they’ve sucked dry and thrown under the bus. 

People like this can seem like effective leaders on the surface, but in reality they lack the self-awareness to even consider Imposter Syndrome, to question whether they are doing the best they possibly can, and to worry about ways that they can be better. Everyone else needs to improve, evolve, get on board. 

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: classic (bad) HR!

But we can do better; we can learn and grow and fake it ‘til we make it, we can build companies that don’t feel “yucky” to work for.

Because, while so many of our professional choices seem like they’ve been stolen away in the dead of night through ongoing layoffs and uncertainty, we still have the option to choose authenticity, to choose integrity, and ironically, Imposter Syndrome can shapeshift into a tool that keeps us honest, authentic, and whole.

Like most of life’s curveballs, the key to success is in how we choose to lean into the chaos vs avoiding what our internal sensors are trying to teach us.

While unpleasant, there are so many reasons why Imposter Syndrome lingers below the surface, urging us slowly toward success.

While many people assume Imposter Syndrome shows up because they are in some way lacking, it actually joins us at the table as a failsafe, an intelligence that lingers inside those of us with something to lose, an axe to cut through the bullshit.

And, the more I’ve seen this play out across leaders, founders, and brilliant professionals, the more I realize an obvious trend when it comes to Imposter Syndrome:

Imposter Syndrome doesn’t target the weak–it targets the good.

It targets those of us with “AI” – Authentic Integrity

And this–this is meaningful, because good people–thoughtful, self-aware, impactful people–are constantly looking for ways to improve.

So you have Imposter Syndrome? Welcome! It sounds to me like you care. And if you care, you are someone I want to know.

Aside from indicating to me that you are someone worth knowing, Imposter Syndrome actually has several benefits. Being someone who cares has several benefits.

(Couldn’t help reinforcing that for my fellow empaths, I see you).

After all, we’ve all likely had leaders who didn’t care. And what was that like?

Well, it was like this:

I once worked for a Chief People Officer who, early in our interactions, told me that my relationships at work don’t matter. That I need to be able to do my job regardless of the strength of my relationships.

She also told a colleague of mine that the part of her job that she dislikes the most is relationship management. 

This is the worst Chief People Officer I’ve ever worked for, and from what I hear from those still shackled to her brand of corporate BS, things have only deteriorated further.

Why?

Because, instead of leaning into Imposter Syndrome, she decided that the skill that did not come naturally to her was obsolete. 

Instead of self-reflecting and exploring how she can improve and become better, she rules her organization to value her strengths and belittle her weaknesses.

She made everyone else the imposter, and crowned herself the savior.

I don’t work at this company anymore. The updates I get are second-hand.

But their stock price indicates to me that perhaps some Imposter Syndrome at the top might benefit their business.

But Imposter Syndrome is so unpleasant! How, oh how, does it benefit me?

Imposter Syndrome tends to stop us in our tracks, to create fear that we aren’t good enough. And some of us choose to stop there.

But what if we didn’t? What if, instead, we proceeded with caution, and kept an eye out for what it all means?

Wouldn’t it be amazing to have a tool, a built-in function?

Imposter Syndrome.

Imposter Syndrome, if we’re attuned, forces us to self-audit, slow down, produce more thoughtful work, and stay more aligned with our values.

Said another way, it helps us avoid becoming malevolent rulers who only see value in the skills we already possess.

According to the Dunning–Kruger Effect, there is actually a systematic human tendency for people with a low ability in a certain area to overestimate their assessment of their own competency. On the contrary, it can also describe the tendency of high performers to underestimate their skill. Perhaps because they’ve spent so much energy learning, high performers recognize the vastness of any given topic and the insignificance of any singular human in scratching the surface alone.

People with Imposter Syndrome don’t assume that their lack of skill or knowledge indicates low value, because they aren’t doubting their ability. Instead, they actually understand the stakes and are acting accordingly.

The stakes for the business, yes, but also the stakes for personal growth. Oftentimes, self doubt acts as an internal compass, an itch to stretch in a new direction, or a sign that you are in the middle of a metamorphosis.

In fact, my experience coaching executives has shown me that feelings of Imposter Syndrome spike when someone is growing and realizing what they can accomplish. It’s scary, it’s terrifying, it’s mesmerizing, jump in.

Or, dip your toe. Because, while I stand firm that Imposter Syndrome is a benefit, not a curse, it’s important to also be aware of the limitations. 

Said crudely, I would feel like an imposter if I was going to perform open heart surgery. I have no training to do this. Sourdough and jam is my jam, not biology. In this case, perhaps it’s best for me to leave surgery to people like surgeons. FINE.

But starting an Executive Coaching business…

Do I feel like an imposter?

Yeah!

Do I know that I have the background, education, emotional intelligence, and skills to be successful?

Also yeah!

So yes, Imposter Syndrome requires nuance, it doesn’t mean we should all just go for it. But it also doesn’t mean that we should drown in analysis paralysis, suffer from chronic stress, or aim for unrealistic perfectionism. 

And this goes for you, Reader. I know there is an area where you want to make an impact, but you are nervous to dip your toe, frightened of failure.

If this is the case, here is a shameless plug to explore an Executive Coaching session!

I’m actually quite good! 

So let me ask you: do you have the tools, resources, and skills to execute with authenticity and integrity?

If yes–congratulations! 

Please proceed with caution and curiosity.

If no–congratulations! 

Your self-awareness has already alerted you that you are better off focusing on skill-building until you have more concrete knowledge.

Because, though I am a fan of delusional confidence, I am not a fan of delusional decision making. So, I urge you–be delusionally confident in your ability to be successful. Then, use Imposter Syndrome as a litmus test.

Feeling like an imposter? That’s the wrong question.

Steeped in the tools, resources, and skills to be successful, but still questioning yourself? Name your Imposter Syndrome, put on your big girl pants, and put yourself out there. 

You are already several steps ahead of so many “successful” executives who lack the self-awareness to grow themselves.

You are the leader we need.